Two major revelations and one minor one on my walking-meditation yesterday
1M. Non momentary-focused consciousness as a source of dissatisfaction
This morning I was very disturbed and dissatisfied, what with not having our bond repaid and such. Largely I am yearning for the time when we are once again fiscally secure (and somewhat independent); being able to imagine/remember this makes me frustrated with the current situation.
For various reasons (with the iPod assisting) I brought my focus on to the very-very-now — the instant as it was occuring. I limited my thoughts to the experience of now i.e. just the sensations (music, warmth of sun, cool breeze, pleasant stretch of legs, whiff of perfume or rubbish). Suddenly I was much happier! I could find things to enjoy in the moment-to-moment. Experience without analysis.
2M. “Now” focus as a martial art
As I got towards work I “let go” of the reins that were keeping me in the here-and-now, letting my future-planning and past-learning faculties come back online as it were. Then I realised — the here-and-now is the same state of mind as when I practise martial arts! It is warrior-mind, zen-state, kungfu calm before the storm and calm within the storm. This meant (to me) that it was something I’d practised a lot, and I wasn’t so worried that it was a once off experience.
It’s always been a worry, which is silly — I’m worried that I won’t be able to not worry — so this is a big deal for me.
1m. Music as a meditation aide
I know I’ve said before just how much I like music, but it really does surprise me just how much I appreciate it and the positive effects it seems to have on my psychological (and therefore physical) state. For now-focus, it seems to get in and distract me from my own internal monologue enough that I can appreciate what is coming in through my senses. For moods, the right music can tune my emotional state to whatever I require.